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Helena and Stella Cornelius, Australia, psychologist and educator, are founders and directors of The Conflict Resolution Network in Australia.
(More on: http://www.crnhq.org/
CRN materials can be freely printed with copyright notice at bottom of each page)

12 SKILLS FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION 

Helena Cornelius and Stella Cornelius

The Conflict Resolution Network (CRN), Australia, believes that skills in relationships changes who you are and how you deal with your environment. Skills in conflict resolution enables people to face situations in a rational way, rather than turning to withdrawal or aggression. Therefore CRN tries to make its teaching as widely available as possible. We teach all age groups from pre-schoolers to senior citizens; they go into ethnic communities, sensitive to their cultural differences; we endeavour to be the gentle invaders in education, the health system, religious and spiritual groups, corporate sector, public service, and community organizations.
For the sake of convenience, recall and reference, the CRN has in its teaching named 12 areas around which skills are grouped. They are listed here, each headed by a (learning outcome) to be achieved and followed by some awareness-raising questions.
1. Win/Win
(Change potential opponents into problem-solving partners)
What is my real need here? What is theirs?
Do I want it to work for both of us?
2. Creative Response
(Employ positive attitudes in addressing conflicts)
What opportunities can this situation bring?
Rather than “how it’s supposed to be”, can I see possibilities in “what is”?

3. Empathy
(Identify other points of view and develop them by adding value)
What is it like to be in their shoes?
What are they trying to say?
Have I really heard them?
Do they know I’m listening?
4. Appropriate Assertiveness
(State your own needs without blame or attack. Be soft on the people, hard on the problem)
What do I want to change?
How will I tell them this without blaming or attacking?
Is this a statement about how I feel, rather than what is right or wrong?
5. Co-operative Power
(Define power inequalities and analyze their effect on co-operative decision-making)
Am I using power inappropriately? Are they?
Instead of opposing each other, can we co-operate?